A lot has happened in the last few months. A lot has changed in my life. Some of the changes have been so beneficial, and some of the changes were totally antithetical to what I wanted/expected.
At first, I wanted to run. When something huge happens, and it isn’t what you wanted, you do almost anything to get away from the feelings that result. Some drink. Some screw. Some fight. Some travel. Some take the feelings and put it toward positive improvement. In the end, though, it’s all running.
I wanted to start traveling, thinking I’d feel better if I just “got away for a while.” That was totally incorrect.
I took a quick trip to NYC to see some family in October, and I realized my desire to “get away” wouldn’t change a damn thing, and wouldn’t change how I felt. The photo above is from Times Square.
I tried to “get away,” by going to one of the busiest places in the world. I sat down and tried to take everything in. After a few moments, with everything and everyone whirling around me, I realized that I couldn’t run from anything. With the blur of human activity and bustle screaming around me, I was only able to focus on the one thing I could focus on when I was home.
What you feel; it stays with you. If you do manage to escape for a while, that’s okay. Your demons are patient.